How To Fix A Relationship After A Huge Fight: Here Are 6 Proven Ways

What relationship is without fights? Did you know that psychology dictates that couples who fight often are more in love than couples who have given up on fighting altogether? It is part of any healthy relationship, be it romantic or otherwise. But the thing is, nobody loves the feeling that comes after a conflict; if you do, you need help, my dear. The awkward silence, the guilt, the irreparable damage done at times with your sharp jabs; it’s all very gloomy, and it makes you feel like your relationship is almost over. So, let’s discuss how to fix a relationship after a huge fight, shall we?

While occasional fights are very common in any healthy relationship, how you handle it and how often you are fighting are also essential factors that measure in; if you are fighting almost every day, it’s safe to say that it isn’t normal couple behavior. Frequent fights will successfully drive a wedge between you and your partner, with neither wanting to be with the other; I mean, would you want to be with someone who reminds you of every ugly conversation you have ever had in your life? How massive the fight is also counts. Usually, big ones that go on for days leave you exhausted and too tired to love; it certainly affects you a lot more than any trivial conflict that gets resolved at the moment. The former often leaves you reevaluating your relationship, wondering when and how it got so much worse. Anger was the driving force behind everything you said to your partner and things they spat at you, but what caused that anger is something you feel scratching your head about; was it your partner’s fault or yours? Once you are down that rabbit hole, it isn’t easy to get back up. The answer is far from simple, it’s my fault, or it’s yours; more often than not, there are other factors in play. Whatever the reason might be, once you decide that you love your partner enough to keep going, the primary concern here is to salvage the relationship. So, without further ado, let’s take a look into the ways to fix a relationship after a huge fight.

#1 Don’t Make It Worse

Once a fight is over, let it remain that way; do not start it all over again because you remember some crazy thing about your partner that you missed out on during the original conflict. It is no longer important that you win the fight. There is no winning; read that again. 

When you have come out of a massive fight, first thing first, the worst is behind you; the bullets have left the gun and done whatever damage they could have. Now it’s time to fix things. If you find yourself fuming with anger still, waiting for an opportunity to spit out more venom at your partner, place yourself somewhere far away from them. Distance is your best friend in such cases. The more you stick together, the more you both will want to say worse things without realizing the extent of the damage your words are doing. Go for a walk, clear your mind, and only when you no longer feel angry, go back to salvage what’s left of your relationship. The moment you think things are heating up again, which is always a possibility, de-escalate without reacting to your partner’s anger. You don’t have to have the last word; it’s more important that you end the fight. 

#2 What Went Wrong?

One of the primary things to do after an argument is to reflect on what really went wrong. The conflict might have started from something as trivial as the volume of the TV or what food to order, but how did it escalate to this level is the real question. There must have been suppressed anger and hidden agenda in both your minds or at least one’s. It is essential that you figure it out and fix it. Until the root has been repaired, these fights will keep recurring; this is one of the main ways to fix a relationship after a huge fight.

Once your anger has subsided, take the time to reflect on the real issue here. Replay the fight in your head, but don’t just watch it and get riled up once again; rather, try to understand what exactly triggered it. For instance, it might have blown out of proportion when you told your partner something like, “stop arguing,” or “you always do this.” These are trigger statements that can easily sound accusatory. Or it might have started when you unconsciously brought up some of their past mistakes Or vice versa. Usually, this happens when one partner’s comment is misinterpreted by the other. 

#3 Communicate

After the initial much-needed break from each other and cooling down your minds, it is critical that you resume communication. The more you give each other the silent treatment, the worse things will get, and after a while, it will feel alien to talk to this person you once couldn’t imagine your life. Another best way to fix a relationship after a huge fight is to resume normal conversation; it does not have to be romantic, but there shouldn’t be radio silence. Let’s not say, “forget about what happened.” It’s not going to do you any good. It will only lead to more fights on the same issue. You have been at each other’s throats for a reason; it’s not a matter to be taken lightly and “forgotten.” Instead, address the issue once things have cooled down and everything seems almost normal. But make sure that you don’t use an accusatory tone. Use I statements. 

#4 Consider Their Angle

How does a fight go out of hand? It’s when you think only about yourself and are in it to win. The moment you put yourself in their shoes, you will have a better picture of who is at fault. And in some cases, even if your partner is at fault, your words might have sounded sharper than intended. The moment you let yourself empathize, that moment you will no longer be interested in winning the fight but rather in comforting your partner after being mean to them. If you have been wondering what to do after a fight in a relationship, try validating your partner’s feelings just as much as you do yours. Don’t tell them that they are being overly dramatic; instead, nod and say, “I understand,” even if you don’t.

#5 Apologize

Whether you started the fight or not, it is essential that you apologize for letting your anger get the best of you. And yes, apologize even if your partner shows no signs of remorse for all the mean jibes they made at your expense. Ask any long-term couple or a married one; they will tell you that the easiest way to get over a fight with your spouse is to apologize first. The rest will follow. 

Read : 6 Helpful Ideas On How To Make Someone Miss You

#6 Learn From Your Mistakes

What’s done is done; things said can not be unsaid, but you can let this be a lesson. What started the fight, after how long did it start feeling things will no longer be the same, what are the things that you said that felt wrong once you cooled off, what topics are off-limits even in a fight, where it should have ended; let this fight teach you everything you did wrong and how you can handle it better the next time; and yes, there will be a next time, but it doesn’t have to be this bad. The only way to heal a relationship after a fight is to learn from your conflicts. Figure out the pattern of your fights, and you can stop them before they blow out of proportion.

Final Words

You can’t stop fights from happening in a relationship, not if you are two passionate individuals, but you can definitely decide how to handle it. It isn’t an easy task to repair a relationship after a fight, and that should be motive enough to put considerable effort into learning ways to manage the conflicts in your relationship and learn the ways to fix them once the verbal combat is over. The ideas discussed in this article will be of help if followed resolutely.

Note : Image credit to unsplash.com