Dating can be a tricky affair. Texts or calls, wait three days or don’t wait, ask more questions, or that’s intrusive? The questions about proper dating etiquette are many and largely unclear. According to several studies, men are more clueless when it comes to dating. 45% of men between 25 and 30 mentioned flirting is one thing, but dating to find the one can be a daunting experience. The rejections often get to people.
When it takes more than one attempt to find the one, which is mostly the case for everyone, it is easy to get discouraged and give in to the myths about love and how it can lead to a rabbit hole. But modern dating offers far more success and is less restricted than its classical counterpart and strict dating rules. Dating has changed for both men and women. Some ten to twenty years back, dating was a man’s world, and men were expected to approach women and play out the wooing game. I dare you to mention the same today; you are in for an earful.
But a more relaxed form of dating still does not mean men don’t feel the pressure today. One reason might be the ego that stops most men from asking for dating advice and speaking freely about the mishaps.
So any man who has reached up till here, this article, is desperately seeking some advice, and we are here to help you. The path to true love is full of bumps, but it is worth the effort. Let us guide you on your journey to finding the one with the list of the most fool-proof dating tips for men.
No. 1: Get Out There
A no-brainer and yet the most needed advice for all men; and women! If you don’t put yourself out there, how are you possibly going to meet anyone, let alone the one?
Probably you are being cautioned by past heartbreaks, or maybe you are an introvert and suffer from chronic shyness, or are just scared of rejection- whatever it might be, it is high time you get over your fears and put your plan of finding your soulmate into action. Wishing it hard enough alone won’t make it come true.
Note this– you are not the only person who thinks dating is nerve-wracking. There are others in the same boat. And if everyone gave up on love because they were afraid, it would be a sad world full of lonely singles. Allow yourself to be vulnerable; you might get hurt, but who knows, you might find someone special as well. Chances are, the date you are so worried about is between two nervous people, not just one.
No. 2: Try Everything- Virtual and Real
Are you too set in your ways? Stop right now, for your own good.
For instance, people from the older generation who are evidently more comfortable with meeting people in more traditional ways will not bend their set ways, even if it has only gotten them repeated failures. Studies show more than 35% of regular male users on online dating apps are hesitant to try the more classical methods even with the odds of a better result.
Men are said to be bull-headed; people say it, not me. But acting the same way while looking for love will only restrict you to a smaller zone. In dating, it is essential to widen the horizon and step into the unknown. The best way to find the one faster than usual is to try a combination of both. Download a suitable dating app and start writing up your profile. But don’t stop there. Be more outgoing and social, mingle with new people at parties, and talk to cute strangers in coffee shops and bookstores. Make the best of both worlds!
Online dating apps might even be a relief for introverts, helping them get over the dreaded first talk from behind the safety of a screen. But don’t forget to hone your people skills; your goal is to meet the woman and fall in love.
No. 3: Make It More Personal
Let’s say you got over your fear and also stopped being so stubborn. Now you have found yourself a pretty lady who is just as interested in you as you are in her. How do you ask her out? Let me first tell you how you do not ask her out- over a text message or email.
The first date, the first proposal, the first confessional of love, and all the other spoken firsts are always better when they are in person or over a phone call; your voice and tone matter more than you think. Never ask a woman out on a date, especially the first one, over text messages. It is rude and sets a more impersonal tone to your relationship.
If you met her on a dating app, the best approach is to call her and directly ask her out without beating around the bushes. And if your first meeting happened in person, it would be rather romantic to ask her on a date the next time you see her, or if you can’t wait that long, call her up.
No. 4: Take it slow
Now that you have landed yourself a date or already had the first date, it is time to lecture you on the significance of taking it slow. No, I won’t act like your parents and tell you the importance of waiting, if you know what I mean. We are talking about managing your expectations. You went on one date; there’s a long way to cover. Don’t start planning your wedding yet.
Dating can be just as scary for women as it is for men, if not more. So going on one date is not enough for her to trust you. Take your time to get to know her and talk every day. Give her ample time to trust you and feel comfortable.
No. 5: Don’t overthink
Whether it is your flirting techniques or dating style, overthinking will never gain you anything. Dating can be tricky, and most of the time, you set yourself up for failure because of your overthinking habits. Most men start trusting the so-called love gurus for dating tips instead of following their natural instinct.
One of the best things to do when talking to a new woman is to consider it like talking to your friends. It takes off unnecessary pressure and gives you back your original confidence. Meeting a woman in person requires some fool-proof ways- maintain eye contact. Try the 60-40 method, where 60% of the time, you look into her eyes while conversing, and the other 40%, take in the surroundings giving yourself enough time to relax your mind. Listen to what your date is saying and chime in with similar topics and light touches while talking, on the safe areas are okay, but don’t overdo it.
The most important thing to remember is- when she tells you directly or subtly tries to show that she is not interested, do not pursue her further. It does no good for your self-respect or self-esteem.
No. 6: First Impressions Are Crucial
It may seem obvious, but you won’t believe how many men need to hear the importance of the first impression. The best way to attain a good first impression is to remember to follow some simple etiquette.
- Dress to impress; of course, within the bounds of your comfort
- Pull out the chair for her on your first date. It’s not much, but it helps secure a spot in her mind as the polite guy.
- Let her decide what she wants to eat. It sounds simple, yet too many men have felt entitled enough to order for both parties.
- Don’t interrupt when she’s talking; you will get your turn.
- Offer to pay the bill, but don’t force her if she wants to split it.
- Whether it was or wasn’t a perfect date, mention how nice it was to meet her. Even if she isn’t your soulmate, it doesn’t cost to be kind.
It will seem like an excruciating thing to find love until you give up putting pressure on yourself and start enjoying the process. Dating is not rocket science. Your poor track record does not determine that your love life will never take off. Just let down your guards and go with the flow. “What you are seeking, is seeking you.”
Note: Image credit to unsplash.com