Recovering from heartbreak, or have been single for a long time? Yes, that can put a lot of unwarranted pressure to either be with someone or create an aura of fear around the concept of being in a committed relationship.
Being single has its own charms. You can do whatever your heart desires without worrying about another person weighing you down, move around according to your own free will, pursue any career and let it take you to any corner of the world, and so many other free-spirited advantages. Heartbroken from your previous relationship, not as appealing, though. But then, why does the heart want to be tied down to someone? Someone who’d love you, whom you will love, even if that means you can’t do certain things owing to this individual or might encounter more heart aches. Maybe, the reason for this longing is that you are emotionally ready to be in a relationship.
While there are some limitations set once you enter a relationship, it does not mean you have to restrain yourself from following your dreams. Of course, you can’t suddenly ask another person out on a date because you fancy them; you have committed to someone else, and it would be cheating. But you can still hang out with your friends, pursue your career, and even appreciate good looks, just not act on them.
There are several reasons why people might consider themselves emotionally unfit for a relationship for some time and, finally, start looking for signs to go ahead. Maybe they had a rough breakup. It is not easy to get over another individual, and in almost all cases, it takes some time to move on or get over it. Your emotional unavailability from relationships can very well be because of the environment you grew up in, from seeing your friends struggling with their relationships, or simply because you were more focused on your career and studies and had very little time to tend to your heart’s desires. But finally, you have the time and will.
Now, let’s sort out your dilemma. How do you understand that you are ready for a relationship? Of course, there are some tell-tale signs. We will list those signs for you and also try to explain why they might signal that you are emotionally ready to love and be loved.
No. One: You Have Met Someone, And Surprisingly Haven’t Pushed Them Away:
If you are not emotionally ready to be in a relationship, you will often push away anyone who wants to be romantically close. This act can happen unconsciously and regardless of how good the person is.
So after a long break and consistently pushing people away, if you have not tried to do the same with someone new you have met recently, that is a good sign. It is a safe bet that you are ready to be in love.
Several relationship experts opine that if you meet someone new and wait to see where things are going, it is a clear sign that you are emotionally ready to be with someone. The fact that you are also making conscious efforts about it makes the case even more assertive.
It happens to be the most common sign of them all. You let someone in without trying your best to do away with them. You did that out of fear of rejection, heartbreak, or maybe because they seemed too good to be true. Whatever it might have been, it is not the case anymore, and you clearly want them in your life.
No. Two: You Have Chucked The Checklist
Remember when your checklist was a mile long? You wanted someone with a good heart, a hefty bank balance, excellent communication skills, and who played the guitar; in the end, they played you and left you putting back the pieces of your heart. Thank God; that phase is over.
Now you are more relaxed. Besides the good at heart, you are more flexible. You are open to dating people who don’t quite fit your strict criteria and understand that not one person in this whole wide world will check everything you listed. And it almost feels like a relief, as if you have taken off the burden of finding the perfect one for yourself. You are now okay with finding just the one.
What can be a more distinct sign than this? You are so ready to be with someone exclusively. Of course, there are some things that you would still want in your partner, but those are the basics. For instance, you don’t want to date a regular drinker or a chain smoker. There’s nothing wrong with having that preference set for yourself. But besides those obvious ones, you only want to find your soulmate, who certainly does not have to abide by your checklist.
No. Three: You Are Happy!
It should be an obvious sign, but you can’t imagine how many people fail to understand that you can only be with someone when you are happy and secure with where you stand in life.
True happiness can’t be found outside. You won’t find it in the relationships you have built, the job you have worked hard for, the amount of money you have, or any other material aspects of life. Happiness can only be found within, and when you have found that, you are clearly ready to take on the world; that also means being ready for a relationship.
To be in a healthy and happy relationship, you have to be in a comfortable place in life, where you can confidently decide that you are ready for the next chapter. So, if you are there right now, you are ready!
No. Four: You are More Compromising Nowadays:
Have you noticed; lately, you have been so much more accommodating when it comes to the people on your romantic radar? For instance, that guy you have been talking to for some time; previously, you wouldn’t compromise on your naps for him, but now, now’s a different story. You have even missed out on your precious afternoon slumbers for him. It shows something.
Being compromising can be increasingly difficult if you have a history of dating selfish people. It requires you to be giving enough to consider another person’s convenience and, more importantly, inconvenience. Once you are open to it, you are quite evidently ready to share your life with someone. Being willing to meet someone halfway can mean that you are mature enough to move forward into a relationship.
No. Five: You Are Over Your Ex
The most common reason people hold themselves back from moving forward in life is that they are hung up on their ex; the oldest story in the history of humankind. But what goes hand in hand with this is the story of how one fine day, you woke up and did not miss your ex anymore. You were magically over them.
Once you have fully recovered from the trauma inflicted by a recent breakup, you are ready to move forward and settle with someone new. Moving on doesn’t mean your ex never pops into your head. That part is quite natural as long as it is within reason. Being completely over your ex means you don’t compare your recent dates with them, you don’t stalk them on social media, and certainly not in person, you don’t feel a pang of jealousy seeing them with their new partner or you don’t think of bloody murder when you think of your ex. One more thing- once you have moved on, you don’t plan fake scenarios in your mind where you bump into them, looking picture-perfect, and suddenly all the lost love comes back, and you are back together again. You know who you are.
So if you think you are no longer stuck in love or the idea of love with your ex, you are good to go.
No. Six: You Have Learnt To Love Yourself First
Last but certainly not least, once you have learned to put yourself first, and show yourself the same love that you have bestowed on several who were quite literally unworthy of it, you are emotionally ready to be with someone else. Once you reach that phase of life, you are not only fit to move into a relationship, but you can even expect to feel real happiness in the relationship without losing yourself in it.
Choosing yourself, to love and to cherish, is the first step towards emotional stability. A relationship demands two wholes. Don’t settle to be someone’s better half.
Listen to your heart. It tends to tell you the way; you just have to follow. Whether you need more time to heal from your previous relationships, need more emotional maturity, or are simply not ready for it because you have not learned to cherish the life you have- the reasons your heart does not want to be tied down can be many. But once you are ready, you will start noticing some clear signs. Don’t forget to act on them, or you might miss out on your chance to find true love. If your heart wants you to give someone a chance, do it. Who knows, maybe they are your soulmate.
Note: Image credit to unsplash.com