How do you approach a woman? Do you make the first move or let her come to you? Do you offer to pay on the first date, or would that make you look like a male chauvinist? Split the bill, but what if she thinks you are cheap? What should you say, and importantly, what should you never say?
With the rapidly changing dating dynamics, figuring out your way around women can be tricky. But that is because most men tend to take men’s advice on dating. How about letting women tell you what they want?
There’s often a gap between what men assume women want and what women really want. For instance, have you noticed how some guys ride their bikes at supersonic speed? That is usually directed at impressing women without a clue how much they hate it. Another example of how faulty men are about a woman’s perspective is when they assume that every woman wants a masculine guy who will be their savior. The reality is poles apart. For starters, women are not some damsels in distress in need of saving. A humble guy who would understand and hear her out is a woman’s dream!
To bridge the gap between the two worlds and make dating a little easier for men, we have come up with pieces of advice that women have for men. From how to frame the first message to what pick-up lines are good to go, listen carefully to what women have to say.
No. One: Women Say- Be Yourself, Not What You Think She Wants You To Be.
When you like someone and are desperately trying to impress her, it is only natural that you would want to agree with everything she says. There’s nothing wrong with that, except she will never find out the real you and fall for that person instead of the made-up version of you. It is always the best choice to be your authentic self, even if that earns you some rejections.
If your date is consistently speaking of a topic in which you have absolutely no interest, listen to her for a polite amount of time and then subtly let her know your incuriosity for the same. It does not have to be offensive if you know how to put it the right way. For instance, you can first acknowledge her interest in the matter and then appreciate her imparting the knowledge to you, coming to the part where you mention that you don’t find yourself as passionate about the particular subject. See how cordially you brought an end to the snooze-fest? Now imagine if you would have feigned interest in it to impress her. More than 34% of women disclosed that faking excitement can backfire.
Most women want their dates to be honest and clear about who they are. Lying to impress will only stop your date from getting to know the unpretentious you and eventually falling in love. And if you are nervous about being yourself, chances are, the graceful woman oozing confidence is internally anxious too. At least, that’s what they said.
Yes, first impressions are everything. Most women understand that you are only trying to be friendly and accepted but pretending to be someone you assume your date desires is not the right way. You don’t have to mold yourself into another person to get picked. As hard as it is to believe, your soulmate will love you for who you are, and pretending to be someone else can cost you your true love.
No. Two: Women Say- It’s Not A Race; Take It Slow.
Men, women, or however you identify, we are all guilty of getting over-excited and trying to move things faster than it’s supposed to be going. But when women started speaking their minds, they said how much they appreciate a man who has the patience to take it slow. Men, the key to a lasting relationship is to align your pace with your girl, specifically during the initial dating phase.
23% of women mentioned that any date has a higher chance of success if the man is okay with taking things slow but steady. Some women need some time to themselves, to gather their thoughts, and more so if she is used to being alone and granting her that me time is the secret to a happy relationship. Try to get to know her first; everything else is secondary.
Men need to realize one thing; when you ask a woman out on a date, the only thing that is established is your interest in her; the rest is yet to be figured out. You don’t know if she will like you just as much, or once you get to know her, you will admire her the same. Don’t suffocate her with future talks when you have yet to forge a lasting romantic bond. And you may be looking for a relationship, but a woman is allowed to explore her choices. So don’t rush, and remember, slow and steady wins the race.
Read Here : A Guide On How To Get A Girlfriend
No. Three: What Do Women Want To Hear?
No, it’s not what you think. Women have precisely as much interest in hearing compliments as men; you can decide the amount. According to many surveys, women want men to talk about their hobbies, passions, and interests. A woman wants you to ask her how her day or week was and actually listen when she proceeds to tell you the same.
According to women, the top things to talk about on the first date would be what drives you, what you are passionate about, inquiring about her interests, and such light but informative topics. The top things to avoid are politics, religion, and anything controversial. Of course, these ideologies define you, but they can be saved for when the relationship has taken some form. First dates are not the right time to discuss such weighty matters.
If you are wondering what other topics, besides hobbies and interests, fall in the safe zone for the initial dating period, here are some ideas given to us by women of QuackQuack:
- Ask her about her day.
- If things are going well, you can talk about your family and ask her the same.
- Career is always a neutral topic.
- Childhood memories can lighten any mood.
Topics to avoid:
- Past Traumas
- Current Affair (Duh!)
No. Four: What Are Women Looking For In A Man?
That has been the burning question of the century, and we are finally going to answer it. Here you go; women want a trustworthy man who is not hard on the eyes. There you go; it is that simple.
According to a poll, 45% of women said the top quality in a man that would seal the deal is trustworthiness. Around 31% of women claimed an honest man with moderately good looks is on every girl’s wish list. Is that too much to ask for?
That’s not all, gentlemen. There are some other qualities that topped the list:
- Sense of humor secured third place. A quick sense of humor shows wit and presence of mind.
- Family values are not only for Bollywood movies; women actually appreciate them.
- The outgoing nature of a man can be a turn-on for some women.
Some things that shockingly came last in the list of things that most women look for in a man:
- Ambitious and careerist. While these are both good qualities, most women have no interest in your goals.
- Sporty. This falls under the category of personal achievements, and women prefer a non-athletic but kind man over an athletic, crude man any day. If you are both kind and sporty, it’s a win-win.
No. Five: What Women Want You To Say Online?
Have been wondering how to initiate a conversation with a woman online? Today’s your lucky day. Hear from women what they want to hear from you.
According to more than half the women, the best way for men to strike up a conversation or break the ice with women is to send a simple message pointing out something they liked about her profile. For instance, upon reading her bio, you understood that you both love the TV show Friends. Here’s your chance! Tell her that you think her choice of TV is exquisite and yours is the same way because you both love the same show.
Some women mentioned that even a simple hi will do the trick and is better than a cheesy pick-up line on any given day. But try to do better than just a hi because it is difficult to stand out if you are choosing an overtly minimalistic path.
Some things that women want you to say while breaking the ice:
- Something that you find interesting in her profile.
- Ask a question relating to information given on her profile.
- Say a bit about yourself.
A Word From QuackQuack
Upon asking the women of QuackQuack, they mentioned the fact that so many men are looking to figure out what women want is a step in the right direction. That said, it is the bare minimum. Men have a long way to go, and if you keep taking women’s advice, you’ll reach there a little faster.
Note: Image credit to unsplash.com