What is one of the worst feelings in the world? For me, it’s the first date nerves. It is overwhelming, it is unnecessary, it is mandatory, and it does you no good. It is only natural that you want to get rid of it and learn to woo a girl on the first meeting. Who doesn’t want to impress a girl by showing off confidence and definitely no anxiety?
It’s a common saying, “you only get one chance.” It makes sense that you are looking for advice to woo her at the first shot. Some people give it a chance even if the first date goes terribly, but why be so desperate when you can be a pro at wooing in one go? Also, remember how hectic and fast-paced it is nowadays? It would really not be a good idea to leave it up to luck and your date’s inclination toward giving second chances.
Now, if you are unsure about what women really want on the first date, you are not alone. Stand in the queue.
Honestly, women are not as complicated as you make them out to be. Maybe men need to work on their listening and understanding skills. Besides some basics like being polite and respectful, there’s very little that a woman wants; maybe do small romantic things to make her feel special. It doesn’t take a massive gesture to impress a woman. Most women observe how nicely you handle little things rather than grand gestures.
Okay, let me make it even simpler for you. Here are a few tips to woo a girl on the first date; if not the first, try to woo her at least before she drops you.
Tip #1: Do Your Research; It Won’t Hurt.
If you have met her through an online dating app, you must have already spoken to her and surely know some tidbits about her. But is that enough? I am not asking you to get your stalker mode on, but a little digging into her social media handles can’t hurt. It will help you understand her preferences; for instance, learning about a cafe that she loves or her favorite cuisine can help you tremendously with planning the perfect first date.
Doing some research, of course, within reason, will also help you have sweet and interesting conversations making sure you knock her socks off on the first date itself. Suppose you take a peek at her Facebook profile and find out that she was in a band during her college days. Imagine the wonders you can do by casually talking about music or just mentioning how impressive you find the genre of music she used to play. Check and mate!
Play it smooth. Try not to make it so evident that you have done your homework, even though some girls might appreciate the effort. It’s not a crime to find out about shared interests aiming to give her a better experience on the first date. While you are at it, don’t cross the threshold of casual digging and move right into being a creepy stalker.
Tip #2: It’s A Date, Not An Interview.
So you have done your research and have a few engaging topics up your sleeve. It is natural that you want to start with those and have so many things you want to know about her. You might have even prepared some loaded questions to impress her by showing your depth of thinking. Hold your horses. It is neither an interview nor are you investigating a petty criminal.
Let the conversation take its own course. If she seems interested in knowing you, do the talking. In the moments where it seems there’s nothing much to say, you can let there be some silence. It does not have to be awkward, and it’s not necessary to fill it with forced talks.
Ask her things casually, following the line of the conversation. If she seems comfortable answering them, you can feed it off with more questions aligned with the original one. Please continue if only she is okay with it.
It shows that you are the right amount of intrigued with her and, at the same time, would drop it if she is not comfortable. Basically, this entire act works to show you off as an understanding gentleman.
Tip #3: Build Some Sexual Tension.
While being emotionally attracted to each other is critical, physical attraction has a massive role in every relationship. Relationships have fallen off due to the lack of physical attractions. If it’s not there from the beginning, build the tension. Nothing sparks more fire than this.
There are some fool-proof ways to build sexual tension without coming off too hard and inching close to harassment.
- You can start with some light yet flirtatious texts before the date.
- Sit a little closer after the first half of the date.
- Let your arm brush against hers.
- Touching her palm while giving a compliment? Linger for a beat, making it slightly evident that it’s intentional.
- Speak slowly and maybe in a deeper voice. Don’t make this one obvious, or you could look like a fool.
- You can look at her lips.
- Smile and hold her gaze.
Why is building sexual tension a vital part of any date?
- For starters, it creates an air of anticipation, leaving your date wanting more of you. What girl does not like a mysterious and sexy man?
- It works to express that you are not in a rush. You want to take it slow and nice.
- Every woman loves to feel wanted, and it does just that.
- Building the tension the right way can show you off to be utterly classy and a man who knows his limits and works them beautifully.
Tip #4: Keep Your Work and Phone Away From The Table.
Nothing is worse than your date checking his phone in the middle of a conversation. Wait! It’s actually worse when he does that to fill the silent moments.
If you are getting an office call, ignore it if it’s not going to get you fired. And if you can’t, excuse yourself and go take the call somewhere else. Once is far too many times, don’t make it twice.
Texting, calling, checking the time, or just checking your phone out of habit- all of these come off as rude and makes a woman feel that you are not interested. Keep your phone in your pocket and your head in the conversation.
While your date would want to know a bit about your job and career goals, she is not asking for a detailed description of how much you hate your manager. Anyways hating is not a good look on anyone.
Tip #5: Don’t Get Drunk
Hey, you are having fun on this date. Maybe you are having a little too much fun and had a few drinks, and now your speech is slurred and awful. Is that what you want your date to remember about you?
It is never a good idea to go overboard with alcohol on a date, let alone the first one. Having a drink is perfectly fine; it can even help you loosen up a bit, but one too many and you lose your senses. Better be safe than sorry.
Also, having too many drinks can give off the impression that you are an alcoholic or this is a regular thing for you. You want to impress her, not scare her away. What’s the point of working so hard to land this date if you can’t even spend quality time with her?
So, lay off the liquor and let your wit guide you. It is essential to have sharp focus and your senses to woo a woman on the first date.
Tip #6: Relax, And Be You!
Out of all the tips, this one’s the most important to remember. Be yourself. You must have been doing something right, or else why would she agree to go on a date in the first place? Just keep doing the same, with some minor updates, and it can never hurt to have a few tricks mastered.
The worst thing you can do for your date and yourself is pretend to be someone else. It’s natural to want to do certain things to impress her even if you are not really into it; that’s okay. But too much of it might give her a wrong notion of who you are. She’ll fall for the guy she thinks you are, not who you really are. At best, she sees through your pretense, and things don’t move forward with her. At worst, you are stuck with this fake persona she loves. One fine day you go crazy pretending and slip off, taking down with you the relationship you two have built.
You have the scenarios in hand; now it’s your call whether you want to be yourself or resort to pretending.
Look, the first date is the time you get to know each other. We understand the pressure of a first date. But no one is as petty as to drop you for being nervous or making one tiny mistake.
Learning to impress her is not about becoming a pro-level flirt or learning major moves. It’s more about putting in the effort to make her like you and express your feelings.
So, be yourself, and relax! If this one doesn’t work, the next one will.
Note: Image credit to unsplash.com