Have you ever dated someone who would text back after hours and often not take your calls? They blow you off every other day and feel no remorse? Chances are, you have been dating an emotionally unavailable man. It is even a task to make these men commit to a simple thing, let alone a relationship.
Often you will find yourself wondering what it is that you did wrong, even though the fault was not on your part. Falling in love is scary as it is. You open your heart to a man and let your guards down. And in the end, when you fall for an emotionally available man, all your efforts seem to go down the drain. These people mask their authentic emotions under their aloofness and detached demeanor.
There are times when you feel like you can’t catch a break, and that’s where we come in. We have created a list of things to follow if you think you are dating an “emotionally unavailable” man.
Patience Is Key
There is always a chance that an emotionally unavailable man is not doing so intentionally. He might not know any other way to deal with his feelings. But that doesn’t mean he can’t learn to open up and show his true feelings for you in due course of time. Patience is the key to any relationship. And in your case, it might be a necessity. Give him time. Let him see you are worth the time and energy. Also, being patient with him might give him the time to feel comfortable enough to be upfront with his feelings.
Be Straightforward About Your Needs
A relationship is about both the people. One person keeps getting their way does not work in the long term. Dating an emotionally unavailable man comes with some set of rules. Be upfront about your needs. Nobody wants to play games in a relationship, and that is more true for emotionally unavailable men. The best way to deal with such a partner is to be direct. Tell him what you expect of him, and also mention that you won’t put up with his detachment for too long. Chances are he won’t realize it himself. So, be clear and voice it out.
Communicate In Ways That Work
Some men might seem emotionally distant, but the problem is that they can’t communicate their feelings well. So find a way of communication that works best for both of you.
Many a time, society is at fault. Society dictates men suppress their emotions, especially those of pain. The only feeling that seems valid for men is anger. Maybe your man is a victim of such a societal expectation. The only way to make it work long-term is to connect with him emotionally. Also, let him decide how fast he wants to move in the relationship.
Look At The Bright Side
I am sure your relationship is not all about your partner’s unavailability. It is made up of more facets. And I am sure some of those are enough to make it up for his disconnected nature. Or else, why would you stick on with him?
So, if it’s his sense of humor, or maybe it’s his quick wit that makes you still love him, focus on that. My tip would be to make a list of things you adore about him. Whenever you feel fed up with his emotional unavailability, take a look at the list.
Leave the Future for the Future.
You signed up for this relationship, and now the best way to handle it is to live in the present. The “future” discussions can be on hold for the time being. Nothing scares an emotionally unavailable man more than the future talks. Our goal is to make him stick and feel comfortable, not to terrify him more.
Remember To Stop
Just because you built a relationship from scratch and put in a lot of effort doesn’t mean you should keep going even when you feel exhausted. Know when to stop. If his aloofness and emotional distance feel too heavy on you, please stop. It is not on you alone to carry your relationship. It requires two people to put in equal efforts.
Remember, just because one of your relationships failed doesn’t mean you are a failure.
No matter what happens, you will be okay. You are trying your best here to continue with the relationship, and even if it ends in heartbreak, so be it. You should never apologize for having emotions. If your partner can’t comprehend or reciprocate the feelings, it’s his loss.
Note: Image credit to unsplash.com