Have you ever wondered if the picture your date sent you is a bit crude or if the comment he made on the shape of your body sounded lewd? These remarks pass off as flirting even though they made you uncomfortable for a brief moment.
You spot an absolute eye-catcher and are sure they could be the one. What will be your next course of action? Flirting will be a good start. But the art of flirting without crossing the line or inching toward harassment can sometimes be confusing for men and women. That is rather unfortunate.
Let’s venture into this subject and find out what is innocent flirting and what comes off as harassment.
The Golden Rule Of Flirting
Stop when asked to stop! You might think that sending your date a bunch of texts, flowers, or chocolates is a good idea. But have you ever stopped to think if they appreciate this behavior? While your intentions might not be wrong, it is crucial to understand if your gestures are being welcomed by the other. For some of you, your date might even have asked you to cut it out and stop sending flowers to their office, but if your mind, that’s a harmless gesture of love. Point is, if your date asks you to stop doing something, you must listen. Anything you do beyond that is considered harassment.
Focus On The Body Language
Let’s consider a scenario where a woman is sitting on the bus, listening to music, and minding her own business. It gives a clear message. She does not want to be disturbed. But you feel a little too daring and try to strike up a conversation with her. Do you see how you crossed the line?
It is paramount to understand a person’s body language when you’re trying to flirt. Body language can paint a clear picture of whether the person is feeling uncomfortable with your actions or not. In this case, if she frowns or turns up her music, it is clear that she wants to be left alone. If you still proceed to converse with her, you are harassing her.
It might seem like common sense, but you’ll be shocked to hear how many people do not understand it.
Are You Staring?
Has it ever happened to you that someone keeps looking at you? Not the cute rom-com falling in love stare. The creepy, making you want to walk away kind of stares. Sad how so many of us have been in this place.
It is vital to remember that your gaze is enough to make a person uncomfortable, whether you are staring absent-mindedly or with some intent.
At times we get misguided by movies and think that staring at the other person a beat too long is some form of flirting. But more often than not, it feels unsettling for the other person.
It’s All In The Touch.
The easiest way to figure out if it’s innocent flirting or crossing the line is by the way they touch you. A touch while flirting encourages a positive psychological response. But what’s vital is the concept of a “safe spot.” You reach out to gently place your hand on their shoulder or nudge their finger with yours for a brief second. All is going well until now. Anything beyond this, done without consent, is likely to be harassing.
You can easily flirt from safe proximity. There is no reason for you to get on their faces to express sweet nothings. While it’s an instinct to lean closer to the person you are attracted to, it is advisable to do so only if you feel welcomed by the other person. If you find the person inching away from you, take the cue and walk away from them.
Flirting can be fun when two play the game. It subtly builds desire. Flirting is paying attention to the other person’s emotions, complimenting them in a way that creates intimacy. It is fairly simple to flirt without harassing the person; you stop when asked!
Note: Image credit to unsplash.com