Couples fight. Period. But if these fights are handled poorly, it can lead to poor relationship quality and dissatisfaction. One of the leading causes of a failed relationship is constantly fighting with each other.
Every conflict you have with your partner does not have to be emotionally distressing if you know how to handle it with finesse. You can have disputes and maintain respectful behavior towards one another. Many pieces of research show that couples who don’t fight at all are often not in love and end up leaving each other.
Constructive conflicts help bring two people closer. Some arguments can cause temporary anger and discomfort but conclusively lets you have an open and honest conversation. Here are some tips to manage a conflict with grace:
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#1 Step Away
During a heated argument, our thoughts tend to be clouded with anger, and emotions can get the better of us. We end up saying such things that will damage the relationship.
When a fight seems to be going out of hand, step away. Remove yourself from that space and come back once you cool down and will not act out irrationally. Take a walk or spend some time alone to reflect on the matter of dispute and regain your perspective. A clear head is the only way to sort things out amicably.
#2 Have Boundaries, Even In A Fight
Using swear words, yelling uncontrollably, avoiding the real issue, or attacking your partner’s character should be avoided at any cost. These acts of anger will not only shift the attention from the problem but also turn a trivial conflict into a full-fledged war.
One of the best measures to fight civilly is to discuss boundaries beforehand. For instance, decide to never resort to yelling and name-calling during a fight. Make sure to address your complaints without accusing your partner, and patiently hear them out. One pro tip is to wait for your turn to speak.
#3 Don’t Let A Conflict Brew. Sort It Out.
The worst mistake in a relationship is to let a fight brew. Once you let troubles in a relationship intensify and do not address them at the moment, the chances of breaking up increase.
Bottling up your emotions and not speaking about them builds resentment. And, finally when one of the two bursts, it destroys all the peace and love that once existed in their relationship.
Lay your issues on the table. Work through the problems and work together. Remember, even in a fight you are a team, not opponents.
#4 Some Time Apart Can Help.
Relationships are not always rainbows and butterflies. They come with a myriad of worries. Adding to the pressure, we have the stressors of our daily life. Taking some time apart can help your perspective. It can help you realize that your love for your partner is greater than the fight.
Just because you spend some alone time does not mean your relationship is in ruins. There are several reasons couples are recommended to spend time apart.
#5 Request > Complaint
Drop the blame game. It will lead you nowhere. Most fights start with one partner complaining. Instead, try making a request. Point out what bothers you and ask your partner to try to avoid doing it. If it is feasible, they will comply. Please don’t be under the impression that all your requests will be accepted or your opinion is the only valid one in the relationship.
It is best to avoid accusatory phrases like “you never” or “you always.”
#6 Don’t Let Your Ego Get the Best of You
Ego can be a real nuisance. It creeps in during a fight and makes things so much worse. If you yell, so will I. Did you call me something unacceptable? Here, have a taste of your own medicine. This back-and-forth war of words will further complicate things.
Try to tame your ego. Instead of finding flaws in your partner, introspect. Think where you went wrong. You cannot clap with one hand. Two people are in a fight. Be humble and open to changing your opinion where needed. It all comes down to one thing: What is more important to you? Your relationship or ego?
Every relationship goes through ups and downs over time. Some of these will work to tear you down. Whether it will accomplish to do so, or you can come out of it stronger depends on how proficiently you handle the fights. The end goal is to work out the problems with mutual respect and love for each other. Winning the altercation is not a priority.
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