No matter how many reality series on dating tell you that batting your eyes and laughing a little extra is pro-level flirting, don’t listen. It is not. It is, in reality, fueling the ego of some egotistical people who think the world of themselves. Flirting is a delicate game of balance and grace. It requires practice and common sense to flirt like a pro. What it is not is complicated. Flirting is simple; you let someone know you are very much into them. Unless you want a hook-up. In that case, batting your eyes might even do the trick. But please don’t; you are better than that.
Just like dating, flirting comes with a bit of pressure, but all of that can be dodged if you focus on expressing your feelings with your flirting skills rather than impressing them with it. If it scares you, you are not alone. We have all wondered if we laughed too hard, stammered a bit, or maybe said the wrong thing at the wrong time.
But even with the myriad of worries that come while flirting, it is a critical part of dating. So, chuck the fears aside and let us help you amp up your flirting skills.
#1 Dump The Cookie-Cutter Responses
There are many self-proclaimed dating gurus out there, telling you exactly what to say and how to present yourself while flirting with your person of interest. I’d suggest you steer clear of those. Why? It is not because these people don’t know what they are saying. It is actually because not everything works for everyone. Try to avoid the one size fits all flirting tips and tricks. It makes you sound generic.
One easy way of flirting like a pro is to gauge the person of your interest. Understand their likes and dislikes, what makes them laugh, what kind of movies they prefer, whether they are into reading or they enjoy music over anything else, what are their passions, and so on. It gives you a clear idea of who this person is and exactly what you should be saying to intrigue them and hold their attention. For instance, if your crush loves reading books, discussing your favorite novel seems to be the perfect way to engage them in a conversation. But imagine if they don’t have the patience to read two pages and you start talking to them about a play by Shakespeare, just because some so-called love guru advised you to do so, you will lose them in a matter of seconds.
My point is that everyone is different, and so are their preferences. Saying or doing the same thing and putting in the same effort with all will not get you ahead in the game. Your approaches should be tailor-made. Tailoring your course of action according to your crush’s preferences is not the same as being fake. Be yourself; that is the only way to fall into true love. Let them see who you are, and they will show their true self too.
#2 Compliment, But With Caution!
I mean, who doesn’t love receiving compliments? I do, and I am sure you do too. But have you ever been on a date or spoken to a person who seemed to be going a little overboard while complimenting? It almost felt uncomfortable. Now imagine you are that someone who made your crush feel uneasy with your compliments. No, we can’t let that happen.
The art of complimenting your crush is solely based on balance. You say too much, it can be a problem; you say too little, even that can be a problem. So, what do we do? We choose the safest compliments. You should know when not to play it risky.
Things not to do while complimenting:
- Do not call them sexy and wink. Cringe.
- Do not blow air kisses.
- Do not run your tongue on your lips while complimenting your crush on their looks or about anything at all.
Complimenting is usually a tricky business because it demands you to be vulnerable. It calls you to open up your heart and tell your crush what you love about them and why. It is almost like confessing your feelings for them, and it always runs the risk of rejection. But what if it works? Go ahead, tell your crush how the way her eyes almost close and her nose scrunches while she laughs makes you fall for her every time; she will appreciate the kind words and also the genuineness of the emotions you laid bare in front of her.
#3 Eye Contact Works Like A Charm.
Making eye contact seems like a complex action, especially when the eye you are contacting is your crush’s. But did you know that eye contact is a crucial aspect of flirting? Looking into someone’s eyes intently is the most fool-proof way of letting them know you are interested in them and them only. It also exudes confidence. When you maintain eye contact while flirting with your crush, you are reaffirming your interest in the conversation and everything they say.
If you are not clear on how to make eye contact without seeming weird, here’s a simple tip. Do not overthink it. You are not looking like a goof. And when you are genuinely interested in your discussions, it will come naturally. Eye contact is almost like breathing. You are doing it all the time, but the moment you think about it, you realize the exhaling and inhaling action, and it even feels like you are not doing it right.
According to the general rule of eye contact, you are supposed to follow the 50-70 method. It asks you to make eye contact 50% of the time while talking and 70% of the time while listening. In between, take a sip of your drink or have a bite of your food. Don’t use the time to take a peek at your phone or look at your watch. It will seem extremely rude.
#4 Bring In The Humor Element.
Who does not love to have a good laugh? Let’s say everything has been going well between the two of you, and you have been flirting with this person for some time now. Now is your chance to bring the humor element to your conversation. You can start with being too funny. It might seem too casual or even nervous, leaving no room for the formal getting to know each other. But once that detail is done and dusted, unleash your funny bone. It is also a good way of measuring how comfortable you two have gotten with one another. And the cherry on top, you can measure their sense of humor at the same time. It might seem unimportant, but later in the relationship, if you can’t laugh at the same thing almost every time, it can lead to falling apart.
Using humor in a conversation also shows off your wit. So go on, crack some jokes and poke fun at your crush without being offensive. After all, we all want to end up with someone who would enjoy our authentic nature.
#5 Smile, Please!
I can’t exaggerate the importance of smiling while you flirt. It can make or break the game. It is absolutely crazy what difference a smile can make in your flirting game.
A smiling face is more inviting and warmer than a cup of hot cocoa on a cold winter evening. It makes you feel safe to approach that person who owns that kind smile. It has also been recently found that a smiling face activates regions of the brain that registers sensory rewards. Let me elaborate in layman’s terms. It means that when you see a smiling face, you feel special. Your brain processes it as a positive feeling. So, smile at your crush while you flirt with them. Make them feel special. Let them believe you are doing something right. It can take you a long way.
We did speak a lot about things that will certainly help your amp up your flirting game. Let’s talk a little bit about the things you should be avoiding.
- Steer clear of the cheesy pickup line. More often than not, it doesn’t work.
- No obscenity. You might think it’s been a while since you two have been flirting back and forth, and now it’s the right time to ask some private questions. You are wrong! Think again and think differently this time.
- Just because you are flirting with your crush doesn’t mean you should be laughing like a maniac at all their lame jokes. Reel it in.
- And last but not the least, don’t try too hard to impress them. There will be times when even your pro-level flirting will not be fruitful. Know when to give up.
Note: Image credit to unsplash.com