Toxic relationships are, in reality, a whole different story. There are periodic happy phases, but most of the time, you feel drained and exhausted after a conversation with your partner. Often it is because of the constant arguments and doubts that tag along with every toxic relationship. Though you love your partner, the relationship no longer brings you any more happiness. You find yourself explaining a lot of things, almost always unwarranted. You two get on each other’s nerves every time you decide to open your mouth. Things are getting so out of hand that you now dread seeing them.
The worst part of a toxic relationship is that no one tells us exactly what to do and how to deal with it. Everyone, same as you, is trying to figure it out themselves. We are all following the trial and error methods, but if the error happens one too many times, there’s a risk of ending up with an unhealthy relationship with love and affection.
One solid reason why toxic love is so typical in our culture is that romantic movies and series will have you believe that the raw form of love comes with aggression and abuse. And as long as there is love, everything else is alright. All is fair in love. If you throw dishes or throw a punch, you did it because your love is so strong it couldn’t bear to see your partner talking to the opposite gender.
Hear me out; all is not fair in love. Toxicity and abuse are not okay, even if you are in love. And not all toxic relationships come with physical or verbal abuse. Some relationships are deemed toxic because you start prioritizing the love you get out of the relationship so much so that you forget that there is no respect, trust, or affection. You even tolerate being treated like a doormat. You let the mean remarks slide, or slowly you even ignore it when your partner starts cheating on you or even starts hitting you one fine day.
It is high time you stop ignoring this behavior and start taking productive steps to save yourself from a worse future. With all your affection for your partner, it might be tricky to notice the tell-tale signs of a toxic relationship. We have curated a list of these signs you should never overlook.
#1 There’s No Trust
This happens to be the most usual sign of all toxic relationships. Your partner is someone you should be able to depend on and trust. With them, you can be vulnerable and your authentic self. But a toxic partner often robs you of this beautiful feeling. They don’t trust you.
A healthy relationship offers security and stability to the people involved in it. On the other hand, in a toxic relationship, you will often find yourself explaining every little thing in utmost detail, and it leans towards almost begging to be believed in that explanation. For instance, your partner saw an innocent chat between you and your friend of the opposite sex. An event as harmless as that can blow out of proportion, and you can get tagged as a cheater. And you know you have done the same to your partner. It’s not always just one person’s fault. At times a couple together set that toxic tone to their relationship.
Without trust, there’s no sense of security, and neither of the partners can offer the other the much-coveted stability in a relationship.
#2 Lack Of Support
Any healthy relationship is fueled by the desire to see each other succeed in all quarters of life. But when the relationship turns toxic, every achievement turns into a competition. Your relationship does not have anything positive to offer.
In a toxic relationship, you don’t feel the support of your partner; rather have to explain most of your actions and even face doubts and jealousy. You can never trust them to be there for you during the tough times or even your happiest moments. Sharing your happiness can feel like a crime, and they often make you feel guilty for feeling joy without them.
One prime trait of a toxic relationship is when you start getting the impression that your requirements and interests are of no real importance. Your partner does not care what you want or what makes you happy. Even the peak moments of your life are disregarded as if they mean nothing.
#3 Toxic Communication
Have you two been yelling at each other at the drop of a hat? Or call each other names and bark hurtful remarks? These are the unmissable signs of a toxic relationship.
Some forms of toxic communication are:
- Throwing and breaking things during a conflict
- Resorting to name-calling
- Being hurtful purposefully
- Applying physical strength to intimidate your partner.
- Passive aggressive behavior like the silent treatment.
- Interrupting when they speak
- Not listening to understand their side but hearing a response only to answer back.
All of these above forms of communication, needless to mention, will only further worsen the situation. It will obstruct any form of resolution. A healthy relationship works on open and calm communication, especially in the face of a conflict. Yes, it is natural to lose your composure once in a while, but it is toxic when that happens far too many times.
#4 Controlling Nature
Do you feel that your partner tries to control your thoughts or actions? Or maybe you find yourself doing the same at times? Whether it is conscious or not, controlling behavior in any relationship is toxic.
You don’t like the way your girlfriend wears short dresses. So you ask her to change into something else. This entitled feeling can be addictive. She obliged once, and now it’s a regular thing. Whether you are the one controlling or on the receiving end, it is highly toxic to let this behavior grow.
Some examples of controlling behavior are:
- Telling what’s right and what’s not.
- Have to know every detail of your day and life in general.
- Making you feel foolish.
- Access to your social media and every other chat.
- Telling you what to wear, whom to hang out with, and where and when to go somewhere.
In a controlling relationship, you lose your identity.
#5 Unhealthy Amount Of Jealousy
It is perfectly normal to feel a little jealous when you see your partner having fun with someone else. But that is it; it is only momentary. You trust your sweetheart and don’t go doubting their loyalty. But in a toxic relationship, jealousy takes precedence over love and trust. It clouds your judgment and keeps you from having positive thoughts about your partner. There’s unnecessary mistrust, and soon, you start passing remarks on your partner’s character and slinging mud at each other.
Needless to say, none of this behavior is okay at the very least.
You either try to change these patterns and habits or give up on such a toxic relationship.
Is It Really Possible To Salvage A Toxic Relationship?
It would be much more uncomplicated to just break up and move on to find someone who makes you happy without conditions, but that’s easier said than done. A toxic relationship doesn’t have to be doomed. Some conscious efforts can help save your relationship from falling apart.
If both of you are willing to work on it to bring it back on track, there’s still hope left for your relationship. Recognizing the behavior that has hurt your partner in the past and admitting your mistakes will benefit your relationship immensely.
Both partners should take responsibility for adding toxicity to the relationship.
From Blames To Understanding
The one thing that can single-handedly ruin a relationship is blame. When you always resort to blaming your partner at every chance you get, it intensifies their resentment toward you.
Focus more on understanding why something happened instead of blaming each other because it happened.
To move forward, you need to let go of the past. Whether you finally decide to break up and free yourself of the toxicity or work on your relationship and steer it towards a better one, dwelling on the past will not help.
Note: Image credit to unsplash.com